So, I have always pride my self in been a product of good friendship – having maintained and sustained certain friendship for more than a decade, I can boldly tell you I believe in friendship and that good friendship can mould you into something enviable!
Recently I came across this timeless piece on Types of friends by TD Jakes as transcribed by Arthur Toole.
This message will make you value and understand frienship, making you less worried about those who decide to leave…. Enjoy….
“There are 3 basic types of people that you will interact with if you are a child of destiny.”
1) CONFIDANTES: You have very few of them. They are for you. They are in for the long haul. You will never inherit your kingdom until you have a confidant. They will confront you. If you have two or three of these relationships in your life you are a blessed person.
2) CONSTITUENTS: They are for what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for they will walk and labor with you … but they are not for you … but what you are for. You could mistake your constituents for your confidants.
3) COMRADES: They are against what you are against. They will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished.
“To be covered by God, you cannot be limited by working only with people who look like you and talk like you, vote like you or dress like you. You have to get out of the box because God is going to use a whole lot of people to bless you and to move in and out of your life. You can’t be narrow-minded or one dimensional – this is a coat of many colors.
Do not characterize the blessing by colors. It is not the color you need to watch…it’s the character. Watch out for the character.
There are 3 basic types of people that you will interact with if you are a child of destiny. The first group is confidant. You’ll have very few of them. Confidants are those people in your life that love you unconditionally. They are into you. Whether you are up or down, right or wrong, they are into you. They are in it for the long haul. You get in trouble; they’ll get in trouble with you. They’ll come see you in the jail house. They’ll come get you out of the crack house. You can open up and share anything with them. You’ll never inherit your kingdom until you find your confidant. You can’t be David until you find your Jonathan. Having a good confidant is the key to inheriting your kingdom because you were raised outside the gate and God’s going to call you to reach over the wall. You’ve got to have a confidant behind the wall who can mentor you for what God is going to do next in your life. The problem with most people is that everyone they run around with us under them. So you are forever feeding people who can’t feed you. After years of feeding them, they begin to drain you. You have to have someone who can feed you so you can feed somebody else. The confidants are the few people in your life that are for you. They are with you. They are intimately intertwined in your life. They are there to make sure you reach your destiny. They will confront you. They will get in your face. They will get in your business. They will tell you when you are wrong. They are your confident. If you have 2 or 3 of them in a lifetime, you are a blessed person. Without them, you will never be who God called you to be. You need your confidant.
Constituents – they are not into you. They are into what you are for. They are for what you are for. They are your constituents. As long as you are for what they are for, they will walk with you, work with you and labor with you – but never think they are for you. They are for what you are for. You have to know that because if they meet someone else that will further their agenda, they will leave you and hook up with them because they were never for you. They were just for what you were for. They are your constituents. Throughout your life, particularly if you are broken, you will mistake your constituents for your confidants. You’ll think they are for you when they are simply for whay you are for and by the time you get through falling in love with them they will break your heart as they hook up with someone else who is for what you are for because it was never about you anyway. It was about the causes you represent. They are for what you are for, but they are not for you. They are your constituents.
Can I go deeper with this?
Comrades- These people are not for you, nor are they for what you are for – they are against what you are against. The comrades will make strange bedfellows. This will cause people to come together who are not for you, not for what you are for, but they are against what you are against. They will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy – but don’t be confused by their association. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished. These people are like scaffoldings. They come into your life to fulfill a purpose, but when the purpose is completed, the scaffolding is removed. Don’t be upset when the scaffolding is removed because the building always remains.
What I’m saying to you, my brothers and sisters, is expect the constituents and comrades to leave you and desert you after a while. Don’t be upset when they don’t react to your dreams the way you expected them to because they were never rally for you in the first place.
Be careful then who you tell your dream to because if you tell your dream to your constituents they will desert you and try to fulfill the dream without you. If you tell it to your comrades, they won’t support you because they were never for what you were for anyway. If you find a few people in your entire life with whom you can share your dreams with, you are a blessed somebody. I can tell you how to identify who are really for you. If they are really for you, they will weep when you weep and they will rejoice when you rejoice. When you walk in the room and you tell someone good news, stop being happy for a minute and watch their reaction. If they are not happy for you, shut your mouth and walk back out of the door. When they are really connected to you, they will be happy when you share your dream.
I need someone that is going to be really happy for me. I don’t want just anyone praying for me. I don’t want any of those haters praying for me because you know you hate me and you don’t want me to succeed. I want someone praying for me who really wants me to be blessed. Who wants me to be an over comer. So you can put up your oil and stop speaking in tongue because you know you never did speak to me anyway. There’s no reason for you to come up into this hospital like you’re going to pray some cancer off of me. I’d rather have someone who really love me lay across the bed and rebuke the devil. God is so faithful; He’ll always give you somebody.
Stop focusing on the things/people God took and start thanking Him for the things/people He sent.
True vision blinds you to the obstacles.
You should thank God for all the things that didn’t work. They were a prerequisite to how He’ about to bless you (to work out).
God can’t protect you from the dangers resulting from following your purpose if you aren’t willing to actually follow your purpose.
Everything you need to get you purpose done, God has already got out covered and He’s just waiting on you, this year, to throw the door open and make a run for it. He’s already assigned angels to encamp about them who fear Him. He’s already protected you on every side, but He can’t protect you if you don’t go for it.
I have never had enough anything to do anything I ever did. But I had a dream.
When you are a dream, you see things that are not as though they were.
I never knew how we were going to get through, but I knew if I just obeyed God – some kind of way – He’ll make a way.”
… So now, you are empowered… Enjoy your friendship!
Thank you so much Arthur Toole for transcribing.